


Red Rose

by Shoichee (crispytofu)



Series: Pun Fest! [3]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, F/M, Gen, Language of Flowers, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Puns & Word Play, Rakuzan High Basketball Team (Kuroko no Basuke)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispytofu/pseuds/Shoichee
Summary: You made it a challenge for yourself as the esteemed 1st year class clown to get a reaction out of Akashi. Not just any Akashi, however. Boku-Akashi. Things quickly get too out of hand.
Relationships: Akashi Seijuurou/Reader
Series: Pun Fest! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928083
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	Red Rose

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome, everyone! This is part 3 of the Pun Fest series! I will be trying to avoid describing the “color” of Akashi’s eyes because they are actually a non-diegetic effect, where the animation/visuals are flashy/emphasized for the audience to see, but in the canon universe, they don’t actually look like that and no one will actually see said animations, and such.

»»————— ☼ —————««

“...and after that, his ass fell flat on the floor right in front of everybody! Can you believe that?”

As your voice chimed throughout the halls, your fellow classmates were stifling their laughter but chortles still escaped from their suppressed lips. Hayama smacked your head in utter embarrassment. **  
**

“You’ve already told that story to everyone, c-cut it out already!”

“ _Kotarooooo_ ,” you pouted. “Not my fault that they kept asking for me to retell it again.” You stuck your tongue at him.

“Tch,” he clicked his tongue, figurative irk marks popping up on his temple. “You needa show some more respect to your senpais!” With that, he started grabbing your head to mess with your hair.

“ _H-Hey!_ It’s not my fault that you tried to impress a passerby 3rd year girl by doing a failed dribbling trickshot,” you vehemently protested, trying to rip his strong grip off your poor hairline.

Your classmates were either watching with complete entertainment or with concern for your safety as both you and the Uncrowned King were duking it out and sidestepping each other. 

… That is, until they grew increasingly uncomfortable after spotting a particular redhead walking in their direction. 

You and Hayama were too invested in the playfight to notice the unforeseen deathly silence and chilled air that accompanied it. **  
**

“Kotarō.”

With a simple call from his airy tone that still somehow glaciated the sunniest of atmospheres, he halted both of you (with his hand still fisted in your hair and you still pulling his cheek) to turn your attention to the person to whom the voice belonged.

 _Akashi Seijuro._ **  
**

“C-captain!” Hayama separated from you at an inhumane speed that rivaled his lightning dribbling. You stiffened yourself straight like a plank.

You’ve heard the rumors. From whispering gossipers to personal testimony from your blonde best friend, you knew his presence meant anything but pleasant. 

“Did you forget that we had practice today?”

 _Holy shit._ You glanced in the corner of your eye to see Hayama paled before he gulped. _Was he gonna be okay?_

You dared not move a muscle from where you stood, hoping not to attract the basketball captain’s attention, but you knew you stuck out like a sore thumb after seeing how all the students huddled closer to the walls while you were stuck in the middle along with Hayama and Akashi.

“I knew that you forgot, so I came by for your sake so we can all start practice together as an absolute team.”

_Ah… there was his infamous favorite word._

Akashi flickered his catlike gaze to you. He didn’t miss the way your body was paralyzed by fear, but he slightly narrowed his pupils at the fact that you _almost_ looked curious about him.

“We’re going.” He gracefully pivoted around to walk the opposite direction in where he came from. **  
**

“I-I’ll see you later, dummy,” he whispered, giving you a playful wink before he strode up to Akashi’s pace, but you knew from his tense back that he was scared _shitless_ of whatever inevitable punishment drill he was going to be tortured by.

You recovered from your stupor and tried to ease Hayama with a joke. “Don’t act all tough, Kota! I know you’re gonna _akashit_ your pants!—” You snorted trying to finish your one-liner but finding your own joke funny. “P-pf-pfft, don’t slip on the floor again, _okay?_ ”

And just like that, with your words, the students around you eased up and let out soft chuckles.

Hayama turned back around even as he continued walking. “Oi! Watch it, kid!” He made the motions of pointing his eyes to you, but you knew that he was grateful for you in trying to unravel his bundle of nerves.

Akashi, still walking, merely glanced back at your figure, unamused at your “joke” but nonetheless almost impressed that you actually had some type of leadership charisma to be able to uplift a crowd’s mood in an instant.

. . .

Everyone released a huge sigh of collective relief once the basketball-player duo was out of sight.

“ _Are you insane, (l/n)?_ ” Another good friend of yours went up to your side. “You had the balls to literally say such a thing in front of _him?_ Of _all_ people?” **  
**

“Well, it’s not like, I’d get sent to the faculty office because of him…” you muttered. On second thought, you probably would. _This was Akashi Seijuro you were talking about._

Everyone started clamoring as they all started seeing you in a much higher regard; some of them even looked at you with starry eyes and others swore to be your new admirers. The rest, though, thought you had just sealed your fate by getting under Akashi’s radar.

“You’ll be missed and honored,” a classmate said, giving a solid pat to your right shoulder. “What type of flowers would you like for your funeral?”

“Hmmm,” you hummed, pointing to your chin and staring at the grand ceiling. You turned to them. “ _Roses as red as Akashi’s hair and the blood of his victims_.”

“(l/n), you did _not—_ ”

“ _Oh my god_.”

“ _Is it too late to become religious just to pray for your wellbeing?_ ”

You just summoned chaos in the hallway for the next hour.

\---------

The next morning was just another indication of a mild, warm day in Kyoto as you walked past Rakuzan’s school gates. _Or at least, you thought the morning would be fine._ Even with your thick uniform blazer, you swore that you felt cold chills running down your spine every now and then when you were strolling your normal route to your class. **  
**

_There’s the cold chills again._

You stopped and looked around your shoulders and behind your back. No one shady was near; they were all too busy chatting with their friends or changing their shoes in their lockers to care much for your presence. Those who noticed you nearby had already given you a friendly greeting.

You hesitantly walked again, being your usual carefree self but now being hyper aware in tracking the students around you. Your eyes widened.

 _There._ **  
**

Had you blinked in that moment, you would have surely missed it, but a flash of red flitted around a corner of a hallway. You sighed and groaned inwardly.

Your classmates were right: _you were going to die by the hands of a certain redhead._

This was the price you had to pay for not passing up the perfect opportunity for an iconic line.

\---------

“Say,” you said turning to your friend once you entered your classroom. “Has Akashi ever shown a side other than being a calm freak?” **  
**

“I don’t know if you _ever_ wanna see anything different than that,” she replied, looking up from her homework.

“Imagine him laughing, though. That’d be news of the _century_.”

“Dear god, I can’t imagine him laughing other than the kind of scheming cackle you’d get from the TV show villains.” You bursted into a fit of snorts while other students, who were secretly eavesdropping out of curiosity after hearing Akashi’s name, snickered.

Another student wedged himself into your conversation. “No one’s ever seen him show any side of him though. Honestly, he’s like a demon.”

“He’s a 1st year student just like the rest of us,” you chided. “Come on, he’s human too. He wasn’t born to be a _calculating machine._ ”

Everyone in the vicinity gave you incredulous looks (for valid reasons, to be fair).

“Hmph!” You crossed your arms. “I’ll prove it to you guys! He’s not as stone-cold as you think!” **  
**

“(y-y/n)-san…” Your friend from earlier tugged onto your sleeve. “You’re really fun to hang around with and all, but…”

“Yeah, um… We know you’re competitive and don’t like to back down, but I think you shouldn’t tread into this type of… dangerous territory.”

“Did you already forget what happened with Hayama-senpai yesterday?”

Pretty soon, a large chorus of agreements and mumbles spread throughout your class. Irked, you pouted as you continued to cross your arms.

“I’m gonna make him laugh, and _I’ll do it_.” **  
**

“Uh..”

“Um…”

No one had the heart to disagree with you when you looked like you sparked a fiery aura around yourself as you raised your fists, ready to take it as a challenge for yourself. 

Your classmate sighed. _Welp, there’s a reason why you got along with Hayama so well in the first place._

_You were both so overly enthusiastic and reckless._

\---------

You’ve been thrumming your fingers on your desk throughout your classes, staring blankly as you start stringing up ideas on how to accomplish your “challenge.” **  
**

Succeeding in making Akashi laugh is like Hayama agreeing to let the dentist extract his snaggletooth. _You’re basically asking for the impossible._

Maybe you should’ve settled for a more realistic goal, but then again, this entire ordeal was an entire miracle on its own.

 _Ah ha._ You stopped your finger taps, hitting a fist to your palm in realization. _Maybe you just need to get a reaction out of him, and the rest will eventually fall into place._

At the same time, your friend looked at you in worry; you were making odd hand gestures and mumbling to yourself as you went too deep within your thoughts to regard your surroundings.

_Oh dear._

\---------

Once lunch began, you immediately left class after incoherent chants of “ _seeyah_ ” and “ _gotta go_ ” to go look for Hayama’s corpse and pay your respects for the poor 2nd year after yesterday. **  
**

You bought sweet bread from the student store for his offering before you went to look for him.

At the sight of the completely lethargic Hayama, you ran up to him in mock grief.

“ _Ah, spirit-sama!_ ” you cried out, bowing with your hands clasped together (the bread secured in between). “Please at least tell me that Kota died peacefully—” He interrupted you with a chop to the head.

“ _Ow!_ Please don’t curse me, spirit! I didn’t treat him _that_ poorly when he was alive…” You winced, rubbing your head in an attempt to soothe the impact. 

“I’m not dead, _idiot!_ ” he retorted, but his banter lacked bite, and both of you knew why. **  
**

You sighed before you flashed him a genuine worried expression. “Are you okay, though?” You promptly handed him the bread, and he immediately did a 180, hooting and having starry eyes at the package.

“Of course I am,” he said, munching on the bread. “ _Not!_ He made me do so many extra drills and exercises that I seriously thought I was gonna die!”

“Okay, before you totally freak out, but please don’t freak out,” you started. You told him about your plan about Akashi.

“You’re gonna WHAT—” **  
**

“ _SHHHhhhHHH—_ ” You clamped over his mouth despite him still chewing. “What did I _just_ say?”

“Reo-nee! Ei-chan!” he called out while you still attempted to close his yapper. “ _Save meeeee!_ ”

The said Uncrowned Kings nearby eyed you two before looking at each other and shrugged; they strolled up to you.

“Oh? (y/n)-chan?” Reo tucked his strands behind his ear. “Has he been causing a ruckus?”

“ _I have not—_ ” **  
**

“Actually, since you’re here anyways, I wanna ask you all something,” you said. “What do you know about Akashi personally?”

“Huh?” was all you heard from the Uncrowned Kings.

“Well…” Reo hummed. “I might know a thing or two about Sei-chan…”

“I’ll just go get lunch,” Nebuya called out.

\---------

 _Day 1 of the Challenge._ **  
**

Thanks to Reo, you knew most of Akashi’s schedules so you can find the perfect opportunities to “ _safely”_ encounter him.

You waited behind a corner of the hall that you knew Akashi would walk through to get to the student council room during lunch. Peeking out, you looked for scarlet hair, ignoring the judgmental (and curious) glances thrown your way here and there. 

The moment you saw that everyone instantly collectively vanished, you knew Akashi was extremely nearby. You took a huge breath, expanding your chest to the point of exaggeration, and turned around the corner to finally meet the infamous emperor. 

You casually strolled, putting up an impeccable act that you were naturally there rather than staking out the same spot for 20 minutes. 

_There he is._

You purposely got closer, hoping the closeness between you two would catch his attention. He walked without a change in expression, however, impassively eyeing you before turning his gaze back to the front. That’s when you saw your opportunity.

You almost bumped into him, but you jumped away at the last second while putting your hands up in surrender.

“W-whoa! _Wahh_ , sorry, Akashi-san!” you quickly apologized in a bow. “Luckily, I had my _emperor’s_ eye to foresee the future and prevented any mishap on my part.” You peeked up from your position to see him standing with his back to you, head turned to the side. 

A few beats of silence passed before he said, “Your head is too high.”

“ _Huh?_ ” You were thrown off. That was the _last thing_ you expected him to say. “Wouldn’t my head _not_ be high _because_ I’m bowing?”

He was still assessing you from the corner of his eye, and you willed yourself to return his stare.

“Stay out of my way.”

“Then _you_ should take your own advice,” you huffed, getting up from your bow. “Yesterday morning, I knew you were watching me at some point before you disappeared.” **  
**

But he just turned his head back to the front and continued his intended course for the student council room.

_Day 1 Results: he scared the daylights out of you instead of you trying to unnerve him._

\---------

 _Day 2 of the Challenge._ **  
**

_What the hell did he mean by “your head is too high?”_ You still couldn’t decipher his cryptic line. Maybe he just said it to everyone, but that would be really corny of him; he wasn’t that type of person.

_Did he think you were too much of a peasant to even **talk** to him?_

You gritted your teeth. _You weren’t gonna give up any time soon._

When everyone was dismissed after school, Hayama let you accompany him to Rakuzan’s spacious gym, under the belief that you were going to go home right after.

As soon as you were both in front of the bulky front doors, you marched right in, catching the blonde off guard so much at the fact that you waltzed in there (full knowing Akashi was in there). He couldn’t yank you out in time even with his lightning reflexes, and you skipped around, being careful to stay near the gym walls to not disrupt anyone. You plopped yourself on one of the further benches where you knew none of the players would ever sit, and as soon as you knew Akashi was in earshot (who was ignoring your existence), you smirked.

“Hey Kota!”

“Huh?” He looked up from rummaging through his duffel bag.

“I’ve heard shogi is being played a lot more by people our age for once, but don’t you think it’s such a _dread_ to play such a _dull_ hobby?”

“Yeah, righ— _oh._ ” He swallowed back his answer in seeing Akashi behind you a few meters away, being as still as a statue.

You gleefully looked behind you, hoping for any entertaining response.

Without moving, he slinked his pupils to you before grabbing a water bottle and leaving.

“C-c-can you just drop this entire thing already?” Hayama runs to your side to give your shoulders a firm shake. “ _I swear to god_ , you’re not gonna live at this point!” **  
**

“You’re right,” you said. “Just for today, I’ll have to retreat before I’ll die.”

“Not just _today!_ ” He shook you harder. “I mean stop this _for good!_ ”

“Kota, I already signed a death certificate the moment I bumped into him yesterday. Might as well go all out.”

“ _Oh god_ , you started this yesterday?”

“Well, I gotta go! See you tomorrow!”

“... More like see you never.”

_Day 2 Results: his reaction was inconclusive, but it was more of a failure than success._

\---------

 _Day 3 of the Challenge._ **  
**

You were pondering about how to annoy Akashi next, both excited and terrified about where this was going to end up.

“(l/n).”

“Y-yes?” You stood straight up from your seat the moment your homeroom teacher called you.

“During lunch, please make your way to the student council room. You’re needed.”

_What in the world was going on?_

You fidgeted in your seat for the next few hours, shooting anxious glances at the clock every so often. All your classmates’ words of encouragement went through one ear and out the other.

_“You’ll be fine!”_

_“I’m sure a teacher just wants you to help out with some workload…”_

_“We’re rooting for you!”_

As the lunch bell rang, you braced yourself before you promptly made your way to the room that reeked of that particular chilled atmosphere that repelled most students away.

You prodded the door open, slipped in, and softly clicked the door shut before turning around to face the poker-faced terror sitting on his desk, watching your every move. **  
**

“Right on time.”

“ _You_ called me here?”

Akashi paid no heed to your outburst and continued. “I’ll admit. I’m quite interested in you. You have the innate sense of magnetism that draws others in.”

_D-did he just compliment you?_

“I would like to put your leadership to the test. You’re now vice.”

“ _What?_ You can’t just make a decision like that!” **  
**

“I ordered him to quit. There shouldn’t be a problem.”

_What the hell?_

What the hell, what the hell, what the hell—

Akashi looked at you like he was peering into the depths of your conscience and simply gave a civil smile.

“I hope you will contribute greatly to this school.”

_Day 3 Result: a miserable failure._

\---------

_Day 4 of the Challenge._

You’re stressed, and it’s all Akashi’s fault.

Which made you even more determined to ruffle his feathers and rile him up.

When news broke out of your new “promotion” as vice president, your classmates celebrated for you and your already high popularity skyrocketed. Your teachers didn’t want to hear you talking about quitting when you “haven’t tried anything yet to know if this job was for you.”

The Rakuzan’s basketball starters (minus Mayazumi) were initially ecstatic for you as well… until you told them about Akashi’s string-pullings. 

“I’ll make sure Sei-chan won’t do anything, okay (y/n)-chan?”

“Thanks a bunch, Reo-kun… or should I say… Reokunma (Rilakkuma bear)?” You snapped your fingers at him. He just stared at you and patted your head, totally disregarding the fact that you made a pun.

“Just pack in the muscles and you’ll have nothing to worry about!” Nebuya flexed his biceps before getting a scolding from Reo.

“Shortie! Call me whenever you need help!” Hayama dropped his elbow on top of your shoulder to emphasize his point.

“Argh, Kotarō! You’re not that much taller than me at all!” You rolled your eyes. “If anyone, why don’t you say that to Akashi?”

“Say what.”

 _Oh fuck._ **  
**

“S-Sei-chan!...” Reo walked over to Akashi. “If you’re here for us, I thought practice didn’t start until much later!”

“I am here for (y/n).” 

His irises contracted, highlighting his feline pupils. “I am depending on you as vice president to make this school an absolute powerhouse.” 

He still somehow made that sound extremely condescending, like a king encouraging a mere peasant. 

You were scared out of your wits, but you weren’t going to crumble so easily. Not until Akashi did first.

“Buh-bye, everyone! Good luck in practice later!”

. . . 

The walk back to the office was painfully silent. You decided to break it. **  
**

“I’m not taking back what I said, _prez_ , you’re a shortie.”

He paused in his steps. “You run your mouth while knowing no bounds.”

“You’re just a spoilsport, y’know.”

“My orders are _absolute_.”

“You know, you’re scary as shit, but the whole ‘ _absolute_ ’ line kinda grows old when I hear it every time I talk to you.”

Palpable silence blanketed between the two of you once again at your words.

 _This guy can’t even crack no matter what you do._ **  
**

You stepped into the office and followed him to his desk. He walked to grab a pen from a drawer before he approached you.

**He stepped forward, thrusted the sleek, black fountain pen to your face, and jerked back the writing instrument at the last millisecond.**

You froze, forgetting to breathe **as you felt the pen nib harshly prodding the tip of your nose.**

“Do not make me repeat myself. My orders are absolute.”

He then gave you some paperwork and assignments to complete like nothing ever transpired. 

_Day 4 Results: you thought being relentless in your attacks would prove beneficial, but you’re starting to regret everything._

\---------

_Day 5 of the Challenge._

Maybe you needed to avoid direct confrontation, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t get a reaction from him in other ways.

One small perk of being vice was the fact that you no longer needed to tail around Akashi in order to bump into him “coincidentally,” but you’re not sure if this sole advantage could outweigh the disadvantages, particularly one that might result in your early death.

You’re frankly not as scared as you should be, even though you _definitely_ were at those times you were with Akashi. If anything, it pissed you off that he’s always able to get you to jump out of your skin.

He’s just a 1st year. _He’s just a 1st year._

You went to the student council room early to tape on a note to his desk, so there wouldn’t be a chance that it would “fall off his desk” and that “he didn’t see it.”

_Roses are red,_

_I suppose you’re “absolute.”_

_You’ll still be knocked dead,_

_And there’ll be no dispute._

You snickered. It was too funny to pass up.

Before you left, you took the time to survey around and get a solid look at the office interiors for the first time (since Akashi’s presence made it impossible for anyone to _not_ pay attention to him).

It was ridiculously tidy, all the wooden furniture polished to the point where their mahogany varnishes _shined_. Books were meticulously ordered by alphabetical order and genres, and they looked like they were all dusted at every free chance. The rugs showcased simple circles, but the minimalism of them added to the office’s air of crisp cleanliness. The gray curtains gently framed the wide window behind Akashi’s desk. But what _really_ caught your eye was a board of shogi and its pieces tucked away in a corner on a high shelf.

 _Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try knocking on Death’s door again._ **  
**

. . . 

Akashi’s shoe clicked on the floor as he opened the door. His steps continued to echo throughout the small room as he walked to his desk to start his work, that is, until he saw your note.

“Oh?” A grin snaked its way onto his face by the time he read the last line.

He severely underestimated you. You unexpectedly had tenacity.

_No one has ever defied him repeatedly so openly before._

His expression put the notorious Cheshire cat to shame, his ulterior smile occupying half his face as his eyes widened in excitement equivalent to a predator.

Feeling pumped for the first time in a while, he decided to expend his energy on shogi. He carefully brought down the board and placed it onto his desk, going through the familiar motions of unpacking and setting up a game, before he froze.

There were various pencil doodles on each shogi piece. All of them were variants of **:/** and **:)**. 

_You were taking a jab at his personality as well as his mannerisms._

He barked an amused harsh laugh. 

. . . 

_Day 5 Results: truth be told, you were too scared to see him face to face right after your double stunts; since you knew his schedules, you only came into the student council office when you knew he wasn’t inside._

\---------

 _Day 6 of the Challenge._ **  
**

Continuing to avoid him would already confirm to Akashi that you were actually shaken up by the high possibility of him retaliating, and you definitely weren’t about to give him the satisfaction. 

You went to class as always, and by break, you feigned innocence as you strolled into the council room, seeing Akashi leaning against the table.

“Good morning, Akashi.”

He nodded in acknowledgment before he gave a full, predatory smile, his pupils focused on you. 

“To continue to fuel diligent work, it’s beneficial to recognize one’s efforts by giving gifts.”

_What? Was he not going to bring up what you did yesterday?_

He pulled out a single red rose and gracefully tilted it for you to take. You warily plucked it out of his hand.

In a different context, it would’ve been sweet or even _romantic_ , but you knew Akashi ticked a different tune.

“I do hope that you will continue to stay and become even more efficient with your work.”

You gazed at the rose at your hand, confused, as Akashi started walking back out, heading for the door. **  
**

_You gasped._

“... Did you overhear our conversations the other day in the hallway?”

He _**chuckled**_. 

“I know the future, because I am **absolute**.”

“ _Bastard_.” You clicked your tongue, turning to Akashi. “ _You knew the entire time?_ ” 

“Shogi is easily applied to every aspect of life. Move the correct pieces and you will always win.”

You turned back around to avoid letting Akashi see you in an embarrassed state. He played you like an absolute fiddle. 

You scowled, and you were about to cross your arms in defiance until the sunlight from the window cascaded on something where your “note” used to be.

“Akashi, what’s that on your desk?” You tentatively walked up to the table to see a stainless glass vase with a single dark burgundy dahlia resting daintily against the inner rim.

His hand was on the doorknob before he turned back to face you. **  
**

“ _Dahliang_ ,” his tone of voice light, almost mockingly saccharine. “Do be careful from now on.”

He left.

_Day 6 Results: he completely destroyed you at your own game and sealed the final nail to your coffin with a pun._

**Author's Note:**

> Black dahlias (which are actually dark burgundy in color) symbolize signs of warning, betrayal, and other negative emotions.


End file.
